Okay truthfully, I knew that idea I had for this post but this was the only title I could really think of. I just wanted to write something that could help someone going through a hard time; so – here we go.
I’m sure many of you had gone through a break up; whether it was expected or you were completely blindsided by it – it has happened. The feelings that come along with break ups are never easy, are they? You feel lost and alone, isolated; and these feelings can linger for ages, especially depending on how strong the feelings were for somebody. That person can have just moved on within a couple weeks or so, while you’re still sitting there, trying to pick up the pieces and put your life back together.
You think you’re moving on good after about a month; you seem more positive and you can have a conversation with that person without either crying or wanting to rip their heads off. You have such an overall great support system to help you through these dark times; everything is so great. Finally, everything seems to be moving in the right direction. You’re learning to express yourself more with words, learning to talk about whatever is plaguing your mind, everything seems to be going so great.
And what happens when you’re smack dab in the middle of laughing with your friends? I’ll tell you what happens; you see a post online, a picture of the “new one”, and it’s like – boom; everything hits you at once again. Every feeling that you tried to move on from, every memory that you tried to escape – everything hits you once again like a ton of bricks, and it hits you hard.
People try so hard to justify their actions, and you begin to feel like maybe you are being silly for getting so upset over a post online. You try to be polite about the situation but it’s hard. You don’t want to talk about it but it spills out of you as you bubble over with rage and hurt and pain. The tears escape your eyes, the lump is in your throat begging to escape your lips in a loud sob. Your mind races with thoughts of whether anything was ever real or not. You ask yourself questions about how they can move on so quickly and why you cannot seem to do so yet. You curse yourself for getting so attached to someone that just ended up walking away. You feel like it is partly your fault because you had your own demons to deal with and did not realize the impact it was having on others.
Everything hurts all over again. You’ve been trying to maintain a relationship of sorts with a person, but you can’t do that if all you feel is pain and animosity from what has happened.
And finally, a post online sets you off.
What I’m saying here is – sometimes if you’re separating from somebody, it is in YOUR best interest to not talk to that person for a while. Distance yourself. They say wounds cannot heal if you keep touching them and this is true – whether you realize it or not. If you keep trying to force something that you aren’t ready for – like a decent friendship – by continuing to talk to the person literally so soon after a break up, then the wound isn’t being allowed time to heal is it. Distance yourself from that person and give yourself some time – a few days, a few weeks, a few months; whatever you want to give yourself. If you give yourself some time away from that person, you’ll be able to move on and you’ll be okay, I’m sure of it. Just allow yourself to grieve the relationship that has been lost, and then see what other things can happen next. You never know what is around the corner, but all I want to say is – God will definitely show you when you need to distance yourself from someone for a little bit.
Keep those pretty heads up my kings and queens. I am so sorry that you were hurt so bad by that girl or that boy. You deserve so much better, you deserve the absolute world.
Don’t you ever forget that. Now wipe those tears, put that crown on, hold your head up, and do your thing.
YOU’RE A KING.
YOU’RE A QUEEN.
Don’t forget it.