I hope everyone has had a nice weekend. The weather has been pretty nice around here apart from the random hailing that occurred yesterday; but other than that, things haven’t been too bad. I hope you’re all happy and healthy; keep your heads up kings and queens.
Right, today’s post might be a bit different. I’m not sure if I’ve blogged about this before, but I’m on one of my adventures of wanting to save the world like I am every day and so I wanted to write about this. I hope this does not seem judgmental – though I don’t think it will – and maybe, I can help someone with this post.
Here we go…
I see so many young, beautiful people on social media discussing incidents of their relationships with their significant others, and unfortunately, a lot of the things I see are clear indications of a toxic relationship. If you’re unclear of what at toxic relationship is, allow me to explain.
Toxic relationships mainly consist of abuse – whether it be physical or emotional, etc. Sometimes signs of a toxic relationship are easy to see – blatant infidelity or obvious physical violence towards a significant other. However, there are other signs. Maybe the significant other is very controlling and you constantly feel like you’re “walking on eggshells”, watching what you say or do as the simplest action can cause your significant other to explode with rage. Then there’s an imbalance of power; one person in the relationship makes all the decisions – where to eat, where to spend money, appropriate clothing, appropriate hair styles. There may be times where your partner bullies you about the way you look or wishes harm on you, and then obviously, your partner may say “Well if you would do this then I wouldn’t be like this; you made me this way.” The victim is always made to feel like the “abuse” is their own fault, as if they deserve it.
While abuse is maybe the most common sign of a toxic relationship, there are also other signs. A pattern of lies is perhaps the most common sign. The significant other may constantly lie and try to make their victim feel like they have gone insane, leading them to constantly second guess themselves. The significant other may always put others before the “victim”, constantly making that person feel like they are second guess which can lead to the “victim” becoming increasingly depressed and lonely. Fights are a constant theme in these relationships, and the stress can ultimately take its toll on the victim, resulting in paranoia and weight loss. The victim may increase their time spent away from home just to be away from the stress of such a toxic situation.
And still somehow, that victim continues to return to the toxic situation…and people on the outside cannot seem to understand why.
I know me personally, I can never understand why a person will continue to return to the exact situation that is making them so unhappy. I understand that love is a powerful emotion, but surely, people reach their limit of being threatened or constantly accused of actions that make no sense, right?
I feel sorry for the beautiful people I see throughout my social media accounts that are ‘trapped’ in toxic relationships, constantly going back to exactly what has made them so unhappy only for an incident to occur within a few days and they’re right back to square one. I feel like the person causing the toxicity manipulates the victim in the relationship – constantly telling them that they are sorry or that they’ll change and not hurt the ever again. The cycle never ends, however; it continues to go around and around, and unfortunately grows increasingly worse as time goes on.
Escaping a toxic relationship can be scary. There’s always a fear of an extremely violent form of retaliation from the partner. A victim may be manipulated into staying once again, or they may have to change their whole lives around just to escape that situation. There are resources and help available though, so just, put your heads up and know your worth.
Walk away from this toxic situation.
Kings and queens, you are so much better than this and you deserve so much better. You are not that boy or girl’s punching bag, you are not the target of many insults and bullying – you don’t deserve that. It breaks my heart to know that people out there believe that they deserve the treatment they receive at the hands of toxic people. All of us in this world are strong, brave, and beautiful and nobody deserves to be treated in such a horrible manner to the point where they feel scared and anxious around someone they are meant to love or someone that is meant to love them.
I use this woman pictured here as an example. This is English singer-songwriter, Cheryl (my favorite singer). On the left is a picture from September 2015, while she was still married to her now ex-husband whom shall remain nameless because ew. On the right is a picture from October 2016 – just over a year later – during a time now where she is in a relationship with fellow singer, Liam Payne. Notice the difference? On the left, her eyes were no longer sparkling but she tried to smile through her pain, though her appearance told a different story as she looked stressed out and fragile – all due to the toxicity of her marriage that crumbled around her due to the actions of her now ex-husband. On the right, however, shows a completely different person. Her eyes are sparkling, her smile is genuine, she is healthy and glowing – and not just because she’s pregnant. No, this is genuine happiness, due to being in such a healthy, happy relationship with someone that truly loves and appreciates her.
Never be afraid to walk away from a situation that is toxic to your physical and mental health. You are all kings and queens; you all deserve the world.
Know your worth; you deserve better.