It’s taken a lot for me to think of a title for this post. This post may be fairly short, yet I have a lot to say – so maybe not. I will not ‘name and shame’ in this post, but…I just want to say some things regarding a situation that occurred during the last week or so.
It’s never nice to have someone whom you regard as a friend suddenly tell you ‘Oh; I have to get rid of negative people in my life and you’re one of them’. You wonder sometimes; what have I done wrong? You know you’ve maybe not been the best friend at times, but to suddenly – when things seem to be going right and seem to be going well – have this come flying at you; it’s hard to get your head around it.
To be called a ‘negative person’ when all you ever try to do is be positive or optimistic is difficult to process. You sit around and you wonder what’s happened, wondering if you’ll ever be good enough. This person whose one of your best friends and has been for a while seems to forget all the times you were there for them and focus on the negatives instead, therefore painting you as this negative person when they know you’ve been working on being a positive person. I’ll say this – a few days ago, well about a week ago now, a friend of mine who I had a lot of faith in did contact me and tell me that I was a “negative person”, and that they could no longer associate with me because of such. I didn’t tell anyone – well, apart from my close friends – because I didn’t want to talk about it really. But let me tell you, it was a rough thing to hear.
I never think of myself as a “negative person”; I know sometimes I’m not the best friend I should be and I know sometimes I can be a bit snappy to people if I don’t feel well or if I’m too tired, but never negative. For someone to focus on the bad bits of a friendship even if things have been good, and to paint me in this light is heartbreaking actually. I won’t lie, at first, I was really angry and hurt, and there was a lot of swearing and such which I should not have done. But in the end, I simply contacted my friend again, wrote a LONG message to them, and left it because at the end of it all, I’d had enough.
Sometimes, I think people point out the bad bits in you just to make themselves feel better – which isn’t good, but ah well, can’t change people. I’m telling my story to say this; If anyone ever tells you that you’re a negative person and they can’t associate with you anymore, but you know you’ve done all you can to be positive and optimistic even when life throws your curveballs, then you’re truly better off without them. This person doesn’t even try to see it from your point of view and you shouldn’t have to deal with such. You think back to their reasoning and their words, and you realize that it’s all blamed on you – and believe me, it’s not your fault. Everyone has their flaws, etc. but for someone to go out of their way and point out such details and claim that you’re “negative”, that’s just not right.
That friend really did hurt me, but I’ve gotten over it as it’s been almost a week now. Actually, being honest, I feel a lot better and I feel lighter. That person only wanted to place the blame on me it seemed, and it couldn’t seem to understand the reason why I would sometimes be annoyed, etc. and now, to just throw things away when our friendship was on a good note, it’s bull – if I’m being honest. I like to think there’s other reasonings, but maybe the friend was being honest and that’s that. I expressed all of this to my group chat and a few others, and even they agreed that the reasoning was crap and that I didn’t deserve such, and these are people who I know would be honest with me and give me some home truths. So…yeah.
All I’m saying is – don’t let people paint you in this bad light and cut off your friendship and ultimately make you feel bad and like everything is your fault, because it’s not your fault at all. People are flakey and friendships come and go, but I’ve come to a point now where if a person wants to have some pathetic reasoning to leave my life, then they can just go to be honest because I don’t care. I’m only 22; I have a lifetime to make new friends – I already have friends now who will be in my life for the long run. I may not have much, but I have those important friends and then family obviously who are always here for me if I need anything.
You know, I went through a rough time a couple years ago – summer 2015, just before I left to begin my studies at Virginia State. I had a great group of friends, but situations happened and it seemed that I was cast aside. I felt sorry for myself for a bit – I still remember I was at work, and I was so angry that I just laughed my head off, much to the concern of my co-workers, but whatever. Anyway, I told so many people that I didn’t even care, yet it did hurt me. But after a while, I got over it – I really didn’t care anymore because who needs people like that and like this recent friend who are going to make you feel like you are less than?
You are not less than anything – you are Fiji water; beautiful, sparkling Fiji water that anyone would be lucky enough to have as a friend. Many of you are the kindest, most gracious and loyal human beings in the world; don’t ever forget that. Don’t let a person pathetic excuses make you feel like you’re nothing, make you feel like you’re this “negative” person. You’re better than everything; you’re on top of the world.
I’m done here – I’ll be back again on Sunday (I really will; not a day late lol).
That is all.